Household Issues
by FloatingLeaf
Summary: Everyone just loves to break into Lucy's house, no? Especially Natsu.


**Household Issues**

Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail.

* * *

Lucy Heartfilia sighed as she stepped into her house, fully prepared to take a bath and then go straight to sleep. Plue toddled along behind her, giggling and patting her leg. A dreamy look entered her eyes as she shut the door behind her, slipping off her shoes. A warm bath... ah, it would be so nice with —

"Yo, Lucy!"

"INTRUDER!" she screamed automatically, throwing a nearby object — which, unfortunately, turned out to be Plue — as hard as she could at Natsu, who was lazing happily on her bed.

Normally, being hit with Plue wouldn't really do much damage, considering the fact that he was pretty much just a big bundle of squishy-ness. But when his nose was the first thing to hit, it could possibly do plenty of damage.

So, a few minutes and one Lucy Kick later, Natsu was blasted out of the window with a wound to his stomach from Plue and a wound to his face from Lucy.

"Sorry, Plue," said Lucy, sadly picking up the remains of the spirit after it had been thrown so fast. "You should go back. I'll see you later."

"P... Puun..."

The spirit faded away wearily. In the meantime, Lucy summoned Loke.

"Oh, _Lucy_!" he exclaimed, darting forth for a hug. "What is the occasion? You're not even fighting, but you summoned me! And we're in a _bedroom_! Could it be —"

"Knock it off," Lucy said, deftly punching him in the face before he could wrap his arms around her. "If Natsu even _touches _my house, please blast him to Edolas for me, okay?"

Loke flashed her a brilliant smile, so bright that sparkles seemed to fly from his face. "Of course. Anything for you, _love_."

"Right. I'm gonna go wash, so please just protect my house."

Loke thought about this for a moment. "I think I need to protect you in the bathroom more —"

He was choked off when a lamp suddenly found itself in his mouth.

* * *

"Oiiiii, Lucy!" called Natsu, jumping up to the level of her window. "That was kinda mean —"

"Regulus... Impact!"

"Huh?"

Natsu swore in pain Loke's fierce attack blasted him to Hargeon.

Loke sighed as he watched Natsu's disappearing figure. "Not even to Edolas..."

* * *

When Natsu got back, he tried a different approach.

"Oiiiii, Lucy!" he yelled, sticking his face through her bathroom window.

There was a brief silence.

And then, "You're a pervert. I can see why Lucy hates you."

"Huh?"

A huge jet of water burst into Natsu's face; he gurgled uncontrollably as he nearly felt his neck break from the force.

Aquarius tsked from her position in the bathtub, watching Natsu soar through the air to land heavily in the river, and flippantly sent a flood through the rest of Lucy's house.

"HEY!" screamed the soaking blonde, storming into the bathroom. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

The Celestial Spirit loomed overhead, glowering down at Lucy with a dark look. "Oh? After blasting away that boy like you said, you get mad at me? _Huh__?_ Ungrateful brat, you'll never get a boyfriend like that. Tch, I'm leaving. You almost made me late for my date with my _boyfriend_. My _boyfriend_, got it?"

After the usual spiel, Aquarius left. Lucy sighed, although she was actually surprised that the spirit had stayed around for that long.

And then, just to spite the mermaid, Lucy summoned Scorpio.

"Yo!" he cheered, winking at Lucy. "I'd love to help, but I got a date with Aquarius. See ya!"

As one more spirit disappeared, Lucy sighed. Her plan had backfired, and Aquarius was definitely going to be pissed at her later.

* * *

Natsu, who was now drenched and mildly annoyed, jumped through the window of Lucy's room again.

And then he landed in a massive mountain of fluffy, pink wool.

"Oiiiii... Luuuuucyyyyy..." Natsu lazily felt his eyes flutter shut upon contact with the fluff. "Gah... must... be... the goat..."

"S-Sorry... but I'm not a goat... Capricorn is," Aries whispered shyly, pointing at the other spirit who was currently standing in the corner of the room. Aries gently ushered Natsu towards the window with her wool. "I... I'm sorry!" she squeaked as Capricorn finished the job off by punching Natsu in the face and sending him flying.

"You did great, guys!" said Lucy, coming out from her hiding place under the bed. "Thanks!"

"Sorry," mumbled Aries, glancing away. "I took a long time..."

"It's fine, Aries," Lucy said patiently, used to the spirit's endless apologies. "Before you go, though, could I have some of that wool to sleep on? Summoning so many spirits is making me tired."

"Sorry," Aries sniffled. "We're making you tired."

"Indeed, Miss Lucy," said Capricorn as he bowed. "We will depart now."

And the spirits disappeared after Aries conjured a bed of wool for Lucy.

The blonde sighed as she let herself fall into the pink fluffiness.

There was just no end to Natsu's stupidity, was there?

* * *

Natsu Dragneel found himself moping at the guild, since Lucy's house was apparently barred off now. Mirajane attempted to cheer him up, although she was tempted to lecture him too for breaking into Lucy's house so many times.

"So when I went back this morning, that horse of hers kept shooting arrows everywhere, so I couldn't get close! The crab kept trying to shave me bald too! And then when _they_ went away, that maid pulled me into the ground, and then her cow nearly sliced my face off!" complained Natsu. "And then, get this! She _slapped_ me with her whip! From her window! As in it actually turned into the shape of a hand and slapped right across the face!"

Mirajane chuckled. "Well, her whipping skills certainly are improving. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was into that kind of stuff..." The white-haired girl pondered thoughts of a dominatrix Lucy. As several interesting images popped into her mind, she sighed. "Never mind."

"Oi, dumbass, why don't you just knock?" said Gray, pulling off his shirt as he came over. "You know, on the door? That's more like normal human behavior."

"I don't need a stripper to tell me what normal human behavior is," shot back Natsu.

"Oh? You wanna go?"

"Any time, asshole!"

"BRING IT, FLAMES-FOR-BRAINS!"

"THAT'S THE LAMEST INSULT I'VE EVER HEARD, IDIOT!"

"NOT LIKE YOURS WAS ANY BETTER!"

"OH YEAH? REALLY NOW?"

"Hello, Erza!" said a cheerful Mirajane, waving towards the other girl. "Wanna have some fun?"

Erza quirked an eyebrow. "How so?"

When Mirajane caught sight of Natsu and Gray doing their usual "friendship" act in front of Erza, she shrugged. "Never mind."

"Alright then," said Erza, slightly confused. "You know, it's been a while since we visited" — "Invaded," coughed Mirajane — "Lucy's house. Anyone want to go?"

"I'll come," said Gray. Wendy quickly chose to tag along as well, which meant that Carla and Happy were coming too.

"You guys are insane!" Natsu moaned. "She'll eat you alive!"

...

So, when Erza calmly knocked on Lucy's door, Natsu was stupefied as he watched the blonde let everyone in.

And then, when he quickly jumped through Lucy's window, he found himself the focus of everyone's stares. Natsu shrugged and made himself comfortable.

"Yo, Lucy!" he called cheerfully, waving a hand. She waved back brightly.

"Hey, Natsu... I've been wanting to practice something for a while," she said, the innocent smile never leaving her face.

"Yeah?"

A few minutes later, everyone applauded Lucy and Gemini on their successful casting of Urano Metria.

Well, everyone except for Natsu. No one really knew where he was after the bright light from the spell had faded.

So, the next day, when a severely injured Natsu Dragneel suddenly wound up in Lucy's home again...

Well, let's just say that some things never change.


End file.
